Way back in the twentieth century I tried to show the world what was possible the the internet thingummy, seeing as I had the fastest connection in the universe, here on the tiny Island of Bronch's Chair, in the middle of the great, grey Atlantic Ocean.

The World was nae ready for me, so I've been tendin the coos and carryin on scrapin the poo off the rocks. But now that winter's nigh, I'm away and battening doon for a toughy. I thought I'd get things going again and dragged out my old 386 computer to relight the internet with all the knowledge I have to give to the world.